Just Begin Again

Little brown eyed girl wakes up all smiles and I love yous.......There is not a day that goes by that she hasn’t hugged me several times and told me she loves me. And even in the busy moments I must pause and recognize this little fire cracker all wound up for spontaneous cart wheels. Just so that she can release the love she has all built up inside her before she explodes....

Life isn’t about getting things done. Life is about living in the moment. Seeing what’s right before you. It’s easy to get lost. You wouldn’t think it would be. You never think you’re going to get stuck in a rut....All wrapped up in a funk.  Until you find yourself in a hole you dug all on your own. We all get caught up in lists and demands. And some how priorities get confused. And all around you are piles of confusion, frustration, chaos, and feelings of failure. Sound familiar?

Friend calls the other day....Tells me “It’s good to hear your voice” Asks me “How’s life?” I laugh tell her I’m doing fine. But as she talks she seems to know there’s more to my ‘I’m just fine’....I tell her I’m stuck in rut....all wrapped up in a funk. And I have piles unwanted chaos lying in corners that I don’t even know where to begin to start.....

I know in my heart where to begin.....And she speaks the words that He already spoke. Where are you child?  And sometimes you have to hear someone else say what you already know. Sometimes you need an outside nudge. “ What are you reading” she asks....”What are you studying?”

I’ve seen 48 years of life walk in and out of open doors. Watched people live their life and make their choices. I’ve laughed and cried. Hugged what hurt and hurt what I shouldn’t have......I’ve made friends and lost them.....I’ve made bad choices and learned from them. My moments are a wide range of Lost and grace to Love and Triumph.  What I know is that although living this life is full....The only way to really be satisfied is to be fed.......His Words they comfort me in times I can’t barely move. Times I’m stuck and don’t know where to begin......He throws the life line...You just got to be willing to grab hold.

“If I’m to be honest .....Nothing. I haven’t been in a book study.....I haven’t read anything that would fuel my embarrassing little excuse for a light.” I haven’t even opened up His word........

She gives me grace....Tells me to just start. Start a book. Start with one verse. Start with one little task until it’s done. Then move on.

Don’t we all know, to just start somewhere? And so I begin again. I hung up the phone.....Opened His Life giving, begin again Word and just started......

Can I tell you I started on a pile and accomplished something. I accomplished being a loving wife. I accomplished being my kids Mama.  I accomplished being a friend. I accomplished homemade bread and a pile of laundry. I looked around at all the faces in my life that day and felt Joy.....Over Joyed that we don’t have to stay stuck. And Thankful for dear friends that just call out of the blue because my name came to mind......