Mine To give Away

It feels like yesterday I was writing your "First Birthday Poem" The one that told you to slow down, the one that said your growing up way to fast. I'm sitting here  5 days before I have to give you away. And even though that's what they usually say about the bride, I feel it applies to the groom and his family as well.

In my heart of hearts I knew this day would come. I never imagined it would be this fast. This is what we have been preparing you for....A life of your own. One that brings about Joy. One that you can share with your best friend. Your Daddy and I? Well we couldn't be more proud of the Man you have become.

I remember watching you come into this world, Daddy sitting right behind me holding me up as I cradled you in my arms for the very first time. You were a miracle...First son. First one to make me a Mama. First precious gift given to us both from our Father up above. And as you grew by leaps and bounds, we grew right along with you. Learning how to keep you safe. Learning how to let you go little by little. Daddy knew you could and pushed you to be your best. Mama closing one eye and watching with the other as you handled the big equipment like you were born to do what you do.

Always a thinker.....Always quiet. Never quick to make a harsh decision. Tender hearted like your Mama. Driven like your Daddy.....Master of voices.  Super funny around those you feel comfortable with. You should be more brave and show that side a little bit more than you do. People need to smile at this life more than they frown. Beautiful smile that melts my heart every time. Always had my back when ever I needed it the most. And as I sit here I have tears, but son they are tears of joy because I am so proud to be called your Mama and the bond we share is one that I know will never break. And as I sit and watch you love your girl I  know with out a doubt she will get the very same respect you have given me. And I want you to know that I already love her like she was my own. Because what you see in her is a beautiful soul, a friend for life and I trust that she is. I love how you both love Christ with all that you are.....Remember Christ first always, then love her as Christ loves us.

Keep reading your Bible....Pray for her....Pray with her. give Grace....Lots of Grace....And listen to her even when she doesn't make sense...Just hold her. Trust me, you may never understand the tears, but holding her through them will make it all feel better. Always talk. Remember we never let things go with out having shared how we feel. communication is what holds you together even when it hurts to talk at times do it anyway....you will never regret it.  Laugh with her, but never at her. Remember to always keep that little boy tucked inside you, cuz he's gonna want to come out and play from time to time. And I'm gonna enjoy watching you play again.......

I love you Hunter and thank you....Thank you for being mine to give away.....Now go live your life. Your Daddy and I so enjoy watching you on your journey. And Remember we are here to support you always.

If you could just take a moment with me.

I have a heart for Middle School girls. I remember that awkward stage I stumbled through. Kids can be cruel. Young girls especially. Such a fragile time just trying to fit in and figure out who you are. Wanting to be accepted for who you are and when you're not, you become someone else....You become one of them....Or you will be left behind and alone. At least that's how I remember my Middle school years.

So now I hug on those girls, tell them their worth. Teach them about a Savior who thinks they are to die for! Show them what it means to be confident. I'm also raising confident girls of my own. Because I refuse to have them feel worthless. I refuse for them to be insecure like I was. I refuse to let them stumble through those years not knowing their worth as a daughter of a KING!

If you could just take a moment with me. Just stop and breathe. Sit in the silence and ask Him to reveal to you the broken hearted. Ask Him to show you just a glimpse of what He sees. And then ask Him to hold your heart as it hurts with every beat when you are shown a soul who hurts deep with in....Somewhere in time she was hurt by some one....Some where along the way in her very short years here on this earth, some one let her down, gave up on her, told her she wasn't worth their time.

When you ask God to put you in the places where others have orchestrated hurt and brokenness, you better ask for wisdom.....

I sat in silence for a couple of days. I was praying and wondering which road I should take. Waiting for Him.

You see it's not all just cut and dry. Hug it away and then move on. When wounds run deep. When abandonment is loud and piercing right through every thought. When she feels no one is listening and she's screaming out, not in words but, in action....You can't hug that away....You can't wipe away years of neglect.....distrust.....disappointment. But I know the One who can hold your heart. The One who can put it back together. I know the One who can make you feel worthy and whole again.

When the Father calls His children, He calls them in a way that only they can hear. For each of His children it's different. But they will know with out a doubt, you will know with out a doubt when your Father is calling you.

So I sit and pray, I wait for Him to call...Wait for His answer. It's His wisdom I seek. But most of all I pray for your fragile heart. I pray for peace in knowing that you have a Heavenly Father who thinks you are to die for! Hang on to that sweet darlin', Help is on it's way!

An Old Endeavor

The deep woody undertones of this rich earth can bring about a calm like nothing else can.....Putting your hands in the dirt puts your soul at ease. Brings rhythm to your heart. Makes you remember with every fiber of your being who you are and from what you are made of.

The senses bring about life. Make memories come alive. All that used to be, brought to the fore front of your mind.

A certain breeze brings about a scent and can whisk you away, if only for a moment. It's amazing how your mind travels back in time, but your vessel stays put. Leaving you in two places at once.....Something only God knows how to create.

This traveling through time is an old endeavor. Never once has any man made any such adventure. Because truly your past has been put behind you for a reason. Going back only keeps you from looking and moving ahead. And God has so much more planned for your future. Your past does not define what's ahead. It's only meant to mold and refine who you are to be. Holding on to what was keeps you imprisoned from living this God given life. Keeps you from making beautiful fragrant memories. Keeps you in shackles from learning and growing. Makes you blind to what's up ahead. Hardens your heart. Makes your soul forget whose you are.

You. Are. deep woody undertones of this rich earth. You were made to make things come alive. And to let others know of this life. Don't ever forget where you have been. But remember your past is just that, it's only your past. It's time to let it be, and move forward. Memories can be beautiful and they can also be wretched, but both are important and bring about wisdom. Trials are for warriors, and you are a WARRIOR. So fight the good fight my beloved. You were called for such a time as this!

Shine Bright

I don't get to stop by here as often as I would like. It seems life on the farm with a man who needs his wife,   and 6 kids who still want their Mama's attention, are still orchestrating my steps on how I am to go about my days. And as they should.

I'm often reminded how quickly this life is lived. How the mile stones keep coming faster than the ones before them.....

This girl of mine...this girl of ours. She soaks up the Son and shines.....She seems to gravitate towards the light,  always has.

 In 18 years we've watched her grow and change from a 10 lb 2 ounce baby girl who rolled over and raised her head up strong within 2 minutes of being born, To this 5'7" head strong young woman with a servant's heart whom has a smile that melts the tension in an awkward room. She will talk to any one, no matter their status in this hard, cruel world. Seems to her that no one is better than any one else.

I'd like to say she is a lot like me at that age....but I can't. And this Mama's heart is full because she "gets it" She understands that life is not about her. I believe that is one of my favorite things about her. She sees when she is needed and then goes and fills that need. I've learned so much through being her Mama. Oh she's not my first child, but she is my first daughter. She's the one I wanted to be when I was growing up. Confident, always smiling. And when someone tries to bring her down she seems to rise up and stand taller than before. I wanted that for her. And at times I probably pushed her harder than I should, but I never wanted her to follow in my steps....Never wanted her to get off track like I did.....

And there were days when I realized prayer was more powerful than pushing. And breaking from hard moments was the best remedy for relief. And love always healed what was broken. That girl broke more antiques than I care to count.....But I learned what was more important during the breaking and it wasn't the stuff...It was her heart.

Oh she's not perfect.....She seems to have her Mama's stubborn side.....They say your not suppose to be a friend to your children and I get that....Mama first, then friend later.....Can I tell you that I have always seen the friendship rising up between us. Getting stronger as the years go by.  Oh I will always be their Mama, But I am really enjoying growing into her best friend.....


And though she will be living her life and making decisions with and with out us My prayer is that she will never lose sight of God's guiding light. The light that seems to follow her everywhere. I pray she remembers to look back to where  she came from, because when you remember where you've been it makes pressing forward a better thing.....We always have room for improvement. I pray she remembers what's most important...While loving those that make it easy to love is one thing, but loving the hard people is what we were called to do. And shaking the dust off your sandals is the last ditch effort when you've tried everything else.

And Sunshine girl remember that hard work is a rare commodity today. College degrees are a dime a dozen. But being loyal and trustworthy are worth more than their weight in gold!

 Your Daddy and I are so proud of you and we love you more than words could ever express!

Shine Bright!

So Long For Now

I believe there are moments in life that need to be an absolute. Some things are just meant to be done, regardless of how hard it might be....and some times those hard things really weren't that hard at all.....They were just very much needed.


Saying goodbye to a friend that is dying of cancer is hard, but knowing that she is ready to meet her Jesus makes the moment easier.  And I have to say I am jealous...I told her so with a smile....Told her she gets to see Him before I do.....She smiles and agrees, tells me she can't wait. Words like that make the "Goodbyes" turn into "So long for nows". Makes my heart sing.

I sit down beside this once strong woman turned frail over night. I grab her hand and we both cry....I kiss her forehead and we pray her home.  I tell God she's ready. Tell Him we are so thankful for the life given. So thankful He loves beyond what we could. Thankful for the Cross.


Words are shared and it's moments like this that fear has no place...Because the love flows freely when time grows short. Makes you wanna say everything you never did before.......Even in the dying the Believer has overcome that scary place we call death.

There was one thing that was overwhelmingly real when I walked in the room...I felt it right away. It was the peace that she has with in her. Seemed to bubble up over into the room. Says she likes being out on the porch, brings her closer to nature...closer to the earth......Up from the dust we came...Back to the dirt we return. We feel close to the Potter who molds the clay. Says she is ready to meet her Maker. It's funny, this thing we call life...A big part of me is celebrating her home going, but that other little selfish part, the part that hates to let them go kicks in and makes moments hard to swallow.


Sometimes we just need to be still.......even the quiet words can be over bearing and loud.....She says the words don't come as easy as her thoughts do.....Her memories are flooding her mind and filling up her soul.....I believe she is fueling up for the journey home. And the memories that she will leave behind, the legacy that she has to give is the glue to hold her loved ones close.

Life is what we make it. Moments are how we react to them. Memories are the people we serve and love on while we are here. I know she has made the best of her time while here on this patch of earth. No doubt her glue will hold her family close.

And Trudy I feel that I failed you as a neighbor....Sure should of been around to see you more than I did.......Sure should of been a better example than I was. Please know you are loved by me. Tell Don I miss him...We all do! So thankful for your sweet friendship.

So long for now sweet sister,
Kimmy

The Dirt

 I was never really afraid to get my hands dirty.  The little girl of long ago, she was more of a "Tomboy" than a girl with pretty pink bows and shiny shoes. Oh my Mama tried to keep me clean, but the dirt always found me. I remember one time Mama had my sister and I all dolled up to get our pictures taken and I made it all the way across the parking lot, almost to the door when I saw a mud puddle. I don't know how it happened, but I was covered in mud from head to toe! Funny how the dirt of the past can be washed right off and your left with a clean canvas once again.  Strange how He molds the clay that encompasses your soul....Molds you into a vessel that's worth keeping a King in a heart that once had no room.....

This place is called Down To Earth because it reminds me of what I'm made of. Reminds me that one is never too dirty to become clean again....Reminds me of the One who keeps molding me. and shaping this soul into His plan, not mine. And that just might mean being raw and tangible to you.......You might see some of my dirty places. You just might see the "Real"  Down to Earth me. And isn't that what we all really want anyway?  Don't we all want to know that there is not one, no, not even one that is perfect here.

 There will be those moments when you need to know you are not alone. When you need to hear words of love and encouragement. This will be that place.......A place to come be real and Down to Earth.  Won't you please join me as I walk this road and share the dirt with you?